How to train dragons aka draconian problems in life: Be a responsible Rebel!

So, we two were watching a movie, How to train your dragon? For those who are very much like me, it is an animated movie. Also, for people like me who fail to keep up with ever evolving literature, it is an adaptation of a book written by Ms. Cowell, whose first name I am forgetting.

The story revolved around a small far away place , named Berg, which is covered by snow for most of the year, precisely 9 months in an year.

In script writer’s words, “Food which grows there is tough and tasteless like people who grow there”. These lines are an apt description of the Vikings (people living in Berg) and the kind of difficulties they face while gathering and storing food. Vikings, as we very well know, are people of great physical strength and take pride in exerting and reveling in their strength. They have a strong sense of leadership and citizenship. They follow the conventional rules of leadership, hierarchy and organization where the most powerful person will be the head of the tribe. Similarly, our organizations where most powerful employee will be the head of the organization. Now, this power has different descriptions and connotations attached to it, depending on the kind of tribe, you are living and working in.

Like Vikings, value physical strength so here, power represents physical strength. Similarly, the kind of values, your tribe believes in dictates what kind of person will move up the corporate ladder or will climb the social ladder. This also, dictates what kind of values you need to inculcate to climb social or corporate ladder, which are the values admired by your tribe.

Now what if you don’t fit in like son of head of Vikings Tribe, Hiccup who was realizing his name in the beginning of the movie. What if, you lack all these abilities, skills and most importantly those values.

Let’s say, your value system is entirely different from your tribe’s value system then, will you succeed in gaining respect and admiration of ones surrounding you?

The answer in bold is NO.

Will that mean, you should quit and leave your place and change your tribe?

Hold on, for a second, you are too quick at making conclusions.poof!

In most of the cases, like with your life and your family, it will be difficult to make a U turn and choose something else.

The brutal truth is you cannot leave your tribe(workplace, work or family) most of the time by choosing another one. Completely changing your tribe is a drastic step and will need more than a catalyst to bring it upon yourself.

So, does the idea of perfect harmony exist only in movies and books?

Will there be any tribe (workplace, work, family, partner) where I will be completely fit in, the answer in bold is NO, again? Oh god, life and overthinking sucks, we all know right.

We are again, missing the whole point. The point is unless we stop concentrating on imitating others’ value system and principles in order to be respected and admired by, unless you stop trying to fit in set rules laid by convention and formality resting in system we just, cannot go ahead and become king of tribe unlike our Hiccup who eventually became king in the end of move.

So, what did he do?

He was not even concentrating on becoming king of the tribe, he was trying to be loyal, true to his principles and value system by acknowledging that he cannot kill a dragon. The act of killing a dragon is admired by Vikings tribe and was a prerequisite to become king of tribe. Hiccup did not want to kill a dragon because he was frightened and he acknowledged same fear in eyes of dragon which shows that he was compassionate and kind unlike his Viking brothers.

In the beginning of the movie, he was refusing to recognize his emotions and was feeling weak and vulnerable. He was confused at his best, and was unable to locate his identity. He could not connect with others, in his case, a fellow dragon or a Viking because he was unable to connect with himself.

Once he accepted his fear, he could locate his identity and was not anymore a confused soul. He could look at Dragon with renewed compassion and kindness.

Later, he explored ways of tackling and training dragons by practicing his values of leading by love rather than leading by authority. In course, he became the first Viking to fly and train a dragon.

He lead by love and by doing what he was best at, rather copying others. Also, it tells that there are n number of ways to solve any problem. If killing the dragon does not work, look at the other ways of tackling it.

Now at the end of the movie, when Toothless (a night fury dragon, which Hiccup did not kill when he could easily, instead he saved his life and became friends with Toothless), was in trouble, he came to rescue it. He did not leave toothless because his purpose of learning to tackle a dragon, was served. He went out of his way to save toothless and in return lose one of his limbs.

In short, life throws a number of draconian problems at everyone. Even the ones, who are best and have noblest intentions may get hurt. So when this can happen with best among us, it can happen with rest of us. No point in sulking at it, and making it another dragon in our lives.

I am prompted to write on friendship, loyalty, citizenship, hierarchy, leading by love etc by watching this movie, which I have tried to highlight a little in my post. Out of all these concepts, the one which has touched my heart is the loyalty and sticking to our value system.

What about you? Which movie or book, you have watched or read, that has touched your heart and made you bore others by talking or writing incessantly about it?

Look forward to hear from you!

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Sleeping Tiger!

So, these days I am naming my article by the book names I am reading and I have just finished reading Sleeping Tiger.

What I have discovered that it explores father daughter role play in a romantic relationship to a new level.

The story starts with a girl, Selina Bruce, living a very conventional life style embedded with very set customs and rituals. Her free spirit was sleeping but destiny took her away to far land, San Antonio Island and woke up her sleeping spirit. Well, she had a crucial obsession of family lives and father- daughter relationships in general as she did not have a father. Her father was dead before she was born or so had been told. Her father was really dead or alive, this was not the point. The point was that she craved that fatherly love and attention that fathers usually dotes on their daughters. So, she grew up with this dream of how her father would be, if he had been alive. If kept triggered, dreams often turned to obsession which turned to needs and start compelling us to take actions. It happened similarly with her. She, with her dream of how her father would be if she had received a chance to meet him, chased her undying obsession and reached Casa Barco. A quaint country house but improperly designed one which thoroughly looked unplanned just like the visit of Selina Bruce. As they all say, a house reflects personality of a house owner and so was the case with the Casa Barco’s owner, George Dyer.

Now he is the much needed love in Selina’s life where he had woke up free, unapologetic and undaunting spontaneous spirit. Selina initially thought that George dyer was her dead father because of some circumstantial confusion and also, because of striking similarity between George Dyer and Gerry Dawson,Selina’s father.

Later the confusion was all cleared and Selina had got a fatherly figure in her life in the form of George Dyer, the love of her life.

Now the story, was quite simple and adorable but what I cannot digest is the slightest probability of Selina later growing fully dependent on George in every possible way because that’s what do daughterly instincts do to depend on father as he is an answer to every prayer and solution to every problem. So, what if Selina too grew wholly dependent on her love? What if George starts misusing the situation to his advantage and dominates Selina? What if George grows frustrated because of playing a dual role of Husband/ Lover and father in Selina’s life ? The story does not answer such questions and leaves us wondering about the possibilities.

It also seeks an important question that do we love to have a fatherly figure in our lives in one way or the other. I think this depends a lot on how a girl views her relationship with her father, if it was loving then she certainly would want a fatherly figure in her life as her husband/partner but if it was not agreeable then she would try to have a partner who could respect her space and not try to dote on her constantly.

As for me, I love my father and love to have a husband who loves me a lot!

What about you? Are you too seeking a fatherly figure in your lives or you have one already?

Aldrin- Sharanya! Perfect harmony of two melodies!

Today, I feel as if wedding is in air! An appreciation post is in progress.

So, Nitin and I were watching Nitin’s facebook feed and noticed that his friend Aldrin, who is a music officer at Navy has had a Navy themed wedding. It was such a dreamy affair, Aldrin and his wife Sharanya Gopinath were looking like two love birds completely in love with each other. They have an interfaith wedding. I don’t know it may sound irrational to others but the idea of interfaith weddings seem very romantic to me.

Just think about it, two people who are completely in love with each other, love each other so much that they have placed each other above everything else. Well, I think every religion do teach us same thing, to love every one as if ones own.

So, I was watching their wedding album uploaded on Fb with Nitin. I liked them very much. To give a brief introduction about them, both of them love music and very lovingly earn through it only. Such a novel and romantic idea again.

I absolutely admire people who love their work and work what they love!

So, coming back to their wedding. I did not get a chance to look at many photos of their wedding as they have not uploaded all of them, but have seen enough to get some idea about them. I have received idea about Aldrin more than Sharanya because Aldrin is a school friend of Nitin. Aldrin loves music from his childhood and he is fully immersed in music from his childhood so much that he has a studio set-up at his home <Nitin told me about it>

Nitin, Aldrin and their other friends used to hang out there, where Aldrin used to play music while all of his friends had fun with each other. Does not it look too cozy and warm to write about it? I absolutely loved it when I have heard it for the first time.

So, Aldrin like other romantic heroes kept on pursuing his love for music and luckily there was an opening in Navy for a music officer and this is not a frequent opening. Defense services seldom publish this vacancy because of two reasons.

  1. There is less need of music officers so one person fulfills the vacancy.
  2. Music officer enjoys all perks and benefits of an officer in Defense services, so people don’t leave the position after joining unless they age and retired naturally.

So, Aldrin was one such lucky fellow to enter in the selection process of Navy music officer and get selected. How cool is it, no?

Also, in service he has opportunities to go to abroad and learns music so as to give interesting and entertaining music concerts to the Defense personnel.

Such a melodious job, he is doing!

I absolutely loved this after listening about it from Nitin.

He seems to be a sensitive, innocent and romantic person. I am happy for Sharanya and Aldrin. At this time, I dont know Sharanya much and so cannot describe my feelings about her. I imagine her to be cute, funny and a little mischievous, a perfect complement to Aldrin!

I hope both of them to be happy and in love with each other and music forever!

Signing off,

An admirer

PS: I have never met them but liked their story too much. I will keep nagging Nitin to make me meet them, one day.

Have you came across any story, you felt compelled to write about?

Look forward to hear from you!

What hope looks like!

Hope, a very cute word. Is not it? People assigned multiple connotations to it but seldom people try to learn the description behind it.

What hope does look like?

It looks like a paycheck in mid of month, a smile on a wailing toddler, a note from your crush, a phone ring to grand parents, wagging tail of your dog on seeing you.

Hope reassures you that things will be alright! No matter what it takes!

I am a hopeful romantic person and not a hopeless romantic!

Love came in my life when I needed it most; in face of Nitin.

I have never thought that I would be happily married and living a blissful married life.

So in my case, hope looks like love which make you feel like teens in your 30s. ❤

What hope looks to you?

If you could see me now and my life lessons!

The moment I start reading this book (if you could see me now by Cecilia Ahern), it has started feeling as if I am ignoring many things and people in my life so far; they are all invisible to me like Ivan is to Elizabeth initially.

In the process of reading, I felt like discovering teeny bits about life and people in general. I can totally relate to Elizabeth when she cannot see Ivan initially and I think we all can relate to her as I believe that all of us have special someone in our lives whom we cannot see and ignore at all levels, we even tend to forget the good deeds done by the person. Such kind of ignorant fools we are!

In the course of reading, it felt that I had found myself again. I just hope not to loose myself and the tiny bits on life and people which I have found while reading, in daily grind.

It is so strikingly ironical that we often overlook the people and things, good for our souls and keep chasing to satisfy materialistic goals.

Sorry for getting little philosophical here <but Cecilia Ahern’s books have this effect on me>.

I like her books for the quantum of life lessons they offer in a very simple and interesting story writing style.

You know what, her books often remind me of the entertaining and interesting moral stories which we used to read in our childhood; filled with life lessons.

The story starts with a 6 years old Luke who has made an imaginary friend named Ivan. Although Luke is a perfectly contented and happy child who is capable of befriending kids and has a best friend, Sam. So naturally, the question arises, why is he imagining an adult friend? Is it because of the lack of adult company in his life? When we are pondering upon this question, there comes the hard hitting note from Cecilia,

Friends choose certain friends because that’s the kind of company they are looking for at that specific time, not because they’re the
correct height, age, or have the right hair color.

And to answer our question, he has his nanny. Luke chooses Ivan because probably he needs friendly father figure in his life and like they say, kids need both set of their parents. He has a mother who is an alcoholic fugitive and keeps running away from all sorts of responsibilities including her life, her family and herself. She is a classic case of a person who has not found her purpose to survive, live or to carry out responsibilities, leading to lack of her identity. Like her identity, her role is minimal in book other than a faint resemblance to her and Elizabeth’s mother, birthing Luke and acting as a reason for her sister’s insecurities.

Her sister, Elizabeth is someone who has the habit of taking life seriously and keeping her life in control. She is a designer by profession and likes to keep her career, personal life in full order but you know what, the one who tends to keep things in too much order and wants to take too much of control in one’s life is often suffering from lack of control in ones’ life which may have resulted from one’s tendency to exert too much control and to over simplify things. And here comes another life-lesson from Cecilia,

“The more you try to simplify things the more you complicate them. You create rules, build walls, push people away, lie to yourself and ignore true feelings. That is not simplifying things.”

In reality, acknowledging and accepting ones’ emotions and feelings leads to true simplification. This is the kind of simplification we all should try looking for. I may sound like a moral police by iterating a cliché but as far as absolute nature of truth goes in this world, it actually is true! <sigh>

Ivan, the invisible friend then started getting visible to Elizabeth and the story tells us it has happened because Elizabeth is in dire need of a friend who can open her mind and can loosen her up, which eventually happens and then Ivan disappears.

I like this story despite of belonging to a fantasy genre. <I am yet to explore this genre.>

The story is full of drama and romancing with life. Also, somehow I feel it advocates mental health too.

Like all other novels of Cecilia, it strongly believes on working through your inner turmoil and emotions with patience, as it is as important as working on your outward appearance. So, yes in a way it advocates tending to mental health, specially these lines.

“Sighs and silences and avoided conversations are just as important as the things you do talk about.”

In a very beautiful way, it talks about problems and try to propose solutions to it. The easy language will make it convenient to read and ponder upon. I have finished this 400 pages book in 2 days only despite of my slow reading abilities.

Now comes the toughest part, how can we apply its lessons in our personal and professional lives.

  1. By listening intently to our and others emotions. What people may say about their rationality, the truth is humans are emotional and they do operate out of their emotions to which they backtrack and find reasons to justify, in scientific terms it is known as cognitive dissonance. So do listen and observe non verbal cues.
  2. We get what we choose and we choose what we need. Needs and wants may greatly differ. Try to find the overlap of needs and wants in your work-life or life in general. We will feel content and happy by addressing needs as wants are limitless.
  3. Try practicing gratitude, kindness and happiness. They go long way than any other networking.
  4. Try to find purpose in life. Don’t try finding it in your work-life or career only as purpose is something larger than life. 🙂
  5. Acceptance is the key to most of our problems.

So yes, I do recommend everyone to read this book and to share your comments with me.

I look forward to your comments. 🙂

I am hooked! Are you too?

Hey everyone!

You must be aware of my recent inclination towards a book named Hooked if you have read my previous post, the same book, on which I have tried sharing insights in podcast but have failed miserably.

Following my failure, I have thought of creating a blog post on same and here I am!

The book starts the content with mind boggling researches. like 1/3rd of Americans will give up on sex than loosing their cell phones.

Are you with me?

So yeah, this book has stated many researches that people will leave everything but will not leave their cell phones. All researches are pointing to one result loud and clear that people will prefer their cell phones than anything else.

Well just a side note here, has it happened with you as well?

When you have given a priority to cutesy little but smart phone than any one else. This has led me to thinking that where we are heading to where we are focusing on something so inanimate and a lifeless machine than a living and breathing person. I don’t know what should I amount to this ignorance and avoidance?

We are hooked to our cell phones, this was the explosive conclusion of initial chapters of book.

I am hooked to this book and will keep on updating you with mesmerizing conclusions and researches as I keep reading on.

Till then, Happy Reading and Happy Living!

Kiara Bay!

I know, right! weird blog name?

Well, I happen to stumble upon this amazing girl on Quora and I am totally amazed.

This girl is just 20 years old and how wise does she sound? This is actually marveling.

For more details on Quora, it is a platform which is used to ask questions on any topic. The beauty of platform is that questions can be answered by any person reading them. So very naturally, the person who is asking the question will get a lot of perspectives to his question.

This amazing girl, Kiara happen to be a 20 years old on the way of becoming college teacher. She lives in Italy. Her dad is doctor fighting hard against corona virus. She has a 25 years old elder sister but from her answer it feels that she is the one who is wiser.

Also, she is in a beautiful relationship with his long distance boyfriend.

Everything seems to be good and positive in her life and I feel that is the reason I admire her so much after reading her couple of answers to various questions related to life in general. But hey, just stop.

Life is not all rosy for her as well. She happened to be a victim of sexual harassment, slut shaming, abusive relationship, teenage rebellion and what not?

The best thing I liked about her is that she overcame everything and have came out as a beautiful (both inside and outside) lady.

I just wish I could have so much clarity on what I wanted to do or what type of person I wanted to be with in my 20s.

Hell, I don’t have clarity on what i really want to do in my life in even early 30s. Now, when I have a vague idea of what I really want to do, I feel somehow that I have missed so much that I really cannot do.

The worst thing about it is that my potential would be unused for the rest of my life.

Yes, I do have a job but I don’t have a career. Everything I do, it feels like this is not “it”.

Sometimes, I feel there is something wrong with me and I will not be satisfied with my career for my whole life.

Probably, I will get used to it with time but I will never be able to realize my full potential like i have said earlier.

Why purpose is so important to me?

Why I cannot be satisfied by doing job which is paying my bills very easily. It always feels that something is lacking but why does it feel always. Why am i a restless soul?

Why cannot i be satisfied in what i have?

I think it is high time i should start practicing gratitude in my life to bring back that placid satisfaction and lost happiness.

I know I have screwed it up badly in my previous office and current office by not fixing a goal and following it religiously and somehow I get the idea that I will screw up my next station as well unless i fix this problem of creeping dissatisfaction.

I have not done my job and have  not lived my life very well till today, but the best thing is that now I am realizing this, I can fix it.

May be force of this entire universe with me and may be I able to do what I needed to, to live happily.

Why i cannot fix a purpose and be fine with it?

Why I cannot be fine with the goal of becoming a teacher in College,like Kiara Bay wants to be one.

I feel that probably this is one of the reason why her story strongly resonates with me because her dream is similar to my dream but perhaps she has necessary courage and determination to do it while it feels as of today I had nothing except creeping dissatisfaction and the ability to crib at everything which god (universe) had given me.

I understand that my some of the wishes have not been granted and fulfilled but tell me, who is the one whose every wish at all points of time have been fulfilled by universe. Sometimes universe withhold her ability to grant our wishes because we are not in a rightful state to receive it and it has happened with me as well.

That’s why some of my wishes have not been granted true. The best part of this scheme that she has given me wisdom eventually to realize it and to work for it.

From today, I will be making and keeping a promise of practicing gratitude that universe has given me everything in abundance.

I have a very loving and adorable family.

I have a very loving fiance.

I have a job that can pay my bills and can make a future money reserve which will be needed for those 6 years.

I have a good body to which I start loving more from today by exercising and meditation.

For now, lets focus on preceding points and practice gratitude and probably the goal gets cleared on the way to practice gratitude.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Honesty is a best policy!

Hello All!

So, I was browsing through what to watch before heading to my office desk and I found this amazing series called Jaipur Lit fest. It is a series of episodes on Jaipur Lit fest talks.

Jaipur Lit fest is the most prestigious annual literature festival of our country. For more information, you can refer to Wikipedia on Jaipur Literature Festival, because I am yet to read it and gain knowledge on it.

Anyway this has given me 2 life goals.

  1. I want to be a part of Jaipur Literature festival one day, some day.
  2. I want to read Manto

The first episode is on Manto and to be ashamed of the fact that, I don’t know anything about him.

What little, I can take from snippets is that, Manto was very Honest man and he wrote and said what was in his mind, in him.

The episode was a talk show, featuring Nandita Das (director of Manto Man movie), Nawazuddin Siddqui (actor who played the lead role of Manto in movie) and hosted by Vinod Dua ,the food man.

The other two points in episode which caught my attention were:

  1. Nawazuddin is a man surrounded by lies in Mumbai Mahanagri and so had to practice being honest in form and in character to play Manto. (It was told so by man himself).
  2. He was not always surrounded by lies. Once upon a time, in his childhood, when he was living in a small village, he was as pure and honest like a crystal clear mirror.

Now why these points caught my attention?

These preceding points are touching many beautiful and honest stories like Manto did himself.

These points are telling that success does not come easy and one has to undergo many changes and has to adapt skillfully to many unpleasant situations to be successful.

You need to adapt to changes if you want to stay relevant and successful irrespective of pleasantness quotient of changes.

Like our Manto man “Nawazuddin Siddqui” who once was a sweet innocent honest village boy and was surrounded by honesty had to change himself and adapt to lies and Maaya of Mumbai Mahanagri to carve his place therein.

So, I feel that success and relevance do not cone easy. One has to pay a huge price for it.

The other story which I can take away is that everyone has a hunger for recognition and appreciation. It is a raw human need.

Manto Man Nawzuddin Siddqui on being asked whether he would like to be a star or to be an actor,told that he would like to have it all.

So raw and honest again 🙂

Do you crave for recognition and appreciation as well ?

Do you want to go back to simpler times when you can enjoy life without a pretense of changing yourself to unpleasant situations?

Leaving this note honestly and openly for you to ponder upon.

 

 

Bombay is rain ready, are you?

BMC (Bombay municipal corporation) is making an effort to use this “time-off” given to all of us compulsorily by lockdown effectively.

They are carrying out maintenance work on railway tracks to make Bombay rain ready. Also, while providing means of employment to labor class.

So what is new in this news? Why BMC has not done it efficiently before?

The reason is simple and straightforward to guess.

The roads are empty and devoid of traffic congestion and so all patches which can be done only when people are not around, are undertaken by BMC these days along with rest of the patches on roads and railway tracks.

BMC is trying best to convert threats posed by Corona to Opportunity of having safe commute in coming monsoon.

Are you ready to effectively use your time-off and prepare to convert this threat to opportunity of making your lives better?

Are you, really?

Breaking News : I protect you, you protect me

Another news being read, another entry is made here 🙂

While we dont have to use N90 and N95 masks unless we are front line workers fighting against novel corona virus, we can make simple cloth masks at home and can save ourselves, our family our loved ones and our country against novel corona virus.

Hey entrepreneurs sitting idly in each one of us, are you even listening?

I protect you, you protect me, my country and my economy 🙂